Life is always changing.
The internet is filled with overexposure. You know what I'm talking about-- pictures of weekends that were too much fun, old livejournal pages where someone somewhere poured their lonely heart out for their virtual friends to observe from a safe distance, news that isn't really news except that we latch onto the most shocking, senseless, inane bullshit and promote its importance. And this kind of overexposure in the vast land of cyberspace is part of what keeps me from using this blog with any regularity-- what value do my words hold in this context? Why do I feel motivated to put this information (thoughts, emotions, experiences, projects, etc) into a sea already full of other information?
This space was once a home for creative writing. This space was once a home from documenting creative endeavors. This space once was a safety net when I felt like I didn't have people with whom I could share life's exciting, heartbreaking, or otherwise boring minutia; but the older I get, the more I realize the internet is as lonely and empty as the life I sometimes live and using this as a reassurance that my life is REALLY FUCKING COOL hasn't felt right lately. I've been busy. I've been lonely. I have fun. I'm making things, exploring, learning, and trying to immerse myself in experience... because for whatever reason I've been in my head WAY too much. 2012-2013 has been hard and different and not cohesive at all. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing but I do know that my new home and my new life hold limitless potential. I'm more confused than ever about my life and more sure than ever about who I am and the kind of woman I want to be.
Cheers to the second half of 2013. Portland, let's make this awesome.
This space was once a home for creative writing. This space was once a home from documenting creative endeavors. This space once was a safety net when I felt like I didn't have people with whom I could share life's exciting, heartbreaking, or otherwise boring minutia; but the older I get, the more I realize the internet is as lonely and empty as the life I sometimes live and using this as a reassurance that my life is REALLY FUCKING COOL hasn't felt right lately. I've been busy. I've been lonely. I have fun. I'm making things, exploring, learning, and trying to immerse myself in experience... because for whatever reason I've been in my head WAY too much. 2012-2013 has been hard and different and not cohesive at all. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing but I do know that my new home and my new life hold limitless potential. I'm more confused than ever about my life and more sure than ever about who I am and the kind of woman I want to be.
Cheers to the second half of 2013. Portland, let's make this awesome.
I agree, people online always try to show off a life that is bigger than what they really have... really it is rather empty and no one believes it anyway.
ReplyDeleteRe: why to feel motivated. Someone recommended a book to me a couple weeks ago - "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience". You might like it. It is sort of related to your post. It is hard for me to get started on creative projects but once I get going it feels really good. That is what the book is about as well - explaining how that happens.